PAUL FORD IS BACK!

CIA director Leon Panetta admitted that the agency,initially under orders from then-Vice President Dick Cheney, kept secret from Congress the existence of a special counterterrorism program for eight years. Panetta also said that the program--intended to deploy small teams to assassinate Al Qaeda leaders--was canceled last month. Attorney General Eric Holder was considering the appointment of a special prosecutor to investigate CIA torture (shackling, punching, beating, waterboarding with extra water, and violating the U.N. Convention Against Torture) under the Bush Administration, despite the resistance of the White House, which believes that its legislative agenda would be hindered by a probe of the crimes of the last administration. Defense Department General Counsel Jeh Johnson, speaking before a Senate hearing, claimed that under the "law of war authority" the president maintains the right to imprison someone indefinitely even after he has been tried and acquitted. President Obama shook Muammar Qaddafi's hand at the G-8 summit in Italy, then went on to Africa, singling out Ghana, an oil state, for a visit (because of its strong democracy); in Accra he spoke to the parliament on the topic of good government and promised U.S. support in prosecuting (African) war crimes. "Yes you can," he said. General Motors exited bankruptcy protection after 40 days, and a Florida man was arrested after killing a prostitute and asking his fifth-grade son to help him get rid of the body. Britney Spears was upset to learn that there are no unicorns in New Zealand, Al Franken was sworn in as a senator, and Michael Jackson was to be buried without his brain. Irish officials were debating whether to construct a museum of child abuse. Congress was considering a plan to lower the volume of ads on TV.

A truck bomb in Afghanistan killed 25 people, most of them civilians. Seven Christian churches were bombed in three days in Iraq, and U.S drones, likely using Hellfire missiles, blew up another 50 people in Pakistan. A Saudi Arabian family was relocated to a safe house after filing a lawsuit against a genie who left threatening voicemails. The 184th person died in Uighur-rights protests in China; the families of dead "innocents" will be granted 200,000 yuan by the government. Seventy-one people died drinking bootleg alcohol in the Indian state of Gujarat, and North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il may have pancreatic cancer. The Aral Sea continued to shrink. Two men who kissed at a Chico's Tacos in El Paso, Texas, were ejected by guards for "faggot stuff," and more than 60 day-camp children were kicked out of a suburban Philadelphia swim club because of their blackness. "There was concern," said the club president in a statement, "that a lot of kids would change the complexion... of the club." A 75-year-old woman beat a fawn to death with a shovel in Euclid, Ohio, and three Georgia policemen were in trouble for Tasing their waffle-house waiter for laughs. An explosion at a beef jerky plant in June was expected to cause a national Slim Jim shortage.

Sarah Palin promised to stump for other conservatives after she leaves office. Wookey Hole in Somerset, England, was looking to hire a full-time witch to live in its caves. A teenager in New York City fell down a manhole while writing a text message, and a man in Camden, New Jersey, died when he fell into a vat of chocolate. A London taxi driver tied one end of a rope around a post and the other around his neck and drove into a pillar, launching his head from the car. An eight-foot fiberglass Statue of Liberty stolen from a coffee shop in Brooklyn appeared in a YouTube video, where it was beheaded while the words "Death to America" were shown on-screen. "Liberty is the holy masquerade of the decapitated," explained a vandal in an email, "so we decapitated it in the struggle for a truly free unity." Osama bin Laden's son Omar said that his father killed his puppies to test chemical weapons, and a Swedish man was found with enough Zyklon-B to kill 42,000 people. Wisconsin scientists, after a 20-year study into caloric restriction, confirmed that hungry monkeys live longer; German scientists found that pigs can catch swine flu from humans. Researchers studying Senegalese villagers found that fathers will spend more time with children who look like them, and SpongeBob was turning ten. An analysis of 38 nun brains showed that people with greater language skills as teenagers are less likely to exhibit symptoms of Alzheimer's, researchers in North Carolina found that people who build castles in the sand are at a greater risk of diarrhea, and scientists in San Diego made a robot head study itself in a mirror until it learned to smile.

-- Paul Ford

FASCIST PUNKS

Note to the prick at the Drunk Driver / Total Abuse show:

Go fuck yourself. No, wait. I take that back. I'm sorry -- that's mean.

But seriously, go fuck yourself.

Needless to say, I looked out of place at the DD / TA show. I wore a summer dress, non-black. And it was raining, so I had an animal / philly zoo umbrella with me. Not by choice as it was the only one at my disposal. But whatever, I'm wasn't trying to get rained on.

So people were making fun of me I guess because I didn't look like I fit in. Which is ok, I make fun of people all the time. I accept.

However, if you're just down right rude to me if I ask you a simple question - that's so stupid.

Get over yourself and your cool non-american apparel black shirt and jeans. Embrace individualism you fucktard.

...And then I went to a reggae show and did not smoke the chronic. I am sooo counter-culture.

HEADLESS CROSS TOUR CANCELLED

Ha.

For those looking to suck Tony Martin's wase in your hometown of USconA/Canada, too bad. The tour is cancelled due to 'irreconcilable differences'.

Oh yeah, Geoff Nicholls would have been there to provide the moist towels.

Just by the look of the poster, this tour would've been SICKKKKKK.



From the words of Mr. Martin:

" Get ya tickets refunded, regroup, and live to rock again!"

This is all really just dry humor to me. Except for the pencil drawing above. Good god... just click here to make your mind melt.

The site also has some reallyyyyy boring portraits of Tony Lommi. Seriously, Tony Lommi is so boring that he's like the devil or something.

I dunno, below is a Tony Lommi tutorial. Wait till halfway where he starts to play his licks all slow. Your skin will fall off.

So evil.

Crocodiles / Christin Turner

Here's some advice for you youths:

!) Be positive.
2) Wake up early.
3) Collect talented friends.

Not that one and two are rules I personally abide by. But three -- pshhh the most / best of all. Now, don't go around being a friend-whore. Just, you know... be cool about it.

I've been thinking for the past several years of buying land in fuck-knows-where, calling on all friends and moving there to create most amazing shit. I think I would call it ... a 'caw-m-you-nh'.

The point of this being, my friend Christin Turner has been working closely with the Crocodiles in producing / directing music videos for several songs recently released.



Fader Magazine recently gave a puzzling positive review saying some hilarious shit about the video.

...looks like Crocodiles wrangled up a neighborhood kid with a shitty video camera, had him turn on one of the in-camera effects and then let him go nuts. Seriously, this video can’t have cost more than 20 dollars, which somehow makes it even cooler.

... it cost $50.

Dum Dum Girls / Raquel Medina-Cleghorn

With Dum Dum Girls signing to Sub Pop and their recent performance at the Woodsist / Captured Tracks fest over July 4th weekend, much has been discussed over the internet (and beeyyyyyyondddd).

1. DDG's signing to Sub Pop after only a 7" and 12" released.
2. Only 2 performance to date ... um, Woodsist / Captured Tracks Fest & what Mario said!
3. Dee Dee's backing band is like an indie super group (Mike>Blank Dogs; Brandon>Crocodiles; Frankie Rose>Crystal Stilts / and I'll include Vivian Girls too just to drop the name)
4. The tunes rule my domeeeeeeeeeeee.

But there is one topic I'd like to personally mention in addition to the positive reviews circulating about the live performance: Dee Dee's dress.




Dude, fringe?! Not just a lil, but a lot ... and in length! A widow's veil born from the cusp of her arms and falling to her knees. I'm all about this.

I mean, not only was I hypnotized by Dee Dee's goose-bump-giving vocals but also by this visually dominant dress. Only when Dee Dee brushed the fringe over my face did I receive the full effect.

Designed by Raquel Medina-Cleghorn, the dress was named best of show by Nylon Magazine. And, believe me it was!

Raquel said she's been obsessed with fringe for awhile. Makes her happy when she's feeling sad sort of thing. Not only has her work been the showcase for her friends such as Dee Dee -- but also herself.

At this year's Coachella she was the subject of a lot attention from Vogue's Style.com wherein they profiled the top-10 outfits from the music festival. Yes, that picture to the left is her in said outfit. Not only was she the focus and inspiration for many national news sources but also the bible for street-fashion blog, The Sartorialist.

So, props to Raquel -- and may her talents grant her wealth and success. Seriously though, she just moved to NYC and the girl needs a job... Anyone?

You can read more about Raquel's work and inspiration at her blog, Wrecked And Grey.

The Crocodiles w/ John Norris

Since its debut in June, Noisemakers on Noisevox has featured extensive sit-down interviews with some *popular* names in music: Animal Collective, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, The Thermals, and Moby.

In the latest installment of the online music interview series, my buds of the Crocodiles gave an insider interview with mother fucking JOHN NORRIS and an exclusive 4-song set performance at Pianos in NYC.

Straight from the weirdly attractive lips of mother fucking JOHN NORRIS: "Crocodiles has one of the best songs of 2009 -- "I want to Kill" is exciting, hypnotic and pulsating." But the man did his homework, mentioning Brandon and Chuck's previous history of bands and affiliations... even spoke about Mario's label, ART FAG.

Oh, mother fucking JOHN NORRIS...

You can find the mother fucking JOHN NORRIS (he's like 80 now, right???) interview along with videos of the live performances here.

Just to note -- I really respect The Crocodiles' attitudes on their increasing popularity and media attention. The Crocodiles consistently talk about their music the way a musician should talk about their music: always grateful, doing what they love, knowledgeable and just having fun. It really shouldn't be anything other than that. Just simply have an objective and do it.

Brandon and Chuck have told me about times where they've been boo'd by neigh-sayers. And you know what? They're pleased with that response and definitely not afraid of confrontation, actually makes them smile to think they affect people that much.

Hence, I'm wholly pleased their album is titled "Summer of Hate"; it really balances out their super posi attitudes. Really gives me that nice, complete feeling. Now let me find a mirror and stare deep into the abyss of my soullllllll.

Oh and if you want to watch and HEAR Chuck slurp on his ice tea drink, watch this excerpt. I kept on rewinding it over and over and over. Hahaha! Chuck you're too cute!

1986 - Stereo Mars PNP Rally

Tenor Saw > Yami Bolo > Ricky Tuffy > Cutty Ranks

Highlights:

Yami Bolo does Michael Jackson's "Lady In My Life" over riddim

4:47 "Youth like you should live in the Bronx." Cutty Ranks

Thanks to Queen Majesty for pointing this jem out.

Patriotism and Other Arts of Life Defecation

Shit, this July 4th was fun.

I spent the weekend in New York with some talented friends (Raquel and Mike included) at the Captured Tracks / Woodsist fest. Located in beautiful Bushwich, the set was one big love jam.

There wasssssss a recording in the works which will hopefully be in my hands within a few weeks. So for those who misset out, I'll provide the details as soon as I know wessup.

SUMMER RULES

WOODSIST / CAPTURED TRACKS FEST // JULY 3 & 4

Rain, man. I just receive this from Todd P:

Today's show is moved to the Market Hotel with the set times 45 minutes early... it's gonna be so sweaty.

However Saturday is still planned for the original destination, 979 BROADWAY BACKYARD. W/ an additional late lateeeeee show that will be AWESOME at the Market Hotel.

====| FRIDAY JULY 3RD @ MARKET HOTEL |==== (moved indoors due to rain)

:: WOODSIST / CAPTURED TRACKS FESTIVAL

8:45pm : CRYSTAL STILTS
8:00pm :: Blank Dogs
7:15pm ::: Psychedelic Horseshit
6:30pm :::: caUSE co-MOTION!
5:45pm ::::: the Mayfair Set
5:15pm :::::: Gary War
4:45pm ::::::: Little Girls
4:15pm :::::::: Kid Romance
3:45pm ::::::::: Beachniks
3:15pm :::::::::: the Gutsies

| MARKET HOTEL |
1142 Myrtle Ave @ Bdwy | Bushwick, Bklyn
JMZ-Myrtle, L-Jefferson, G-Myrtle-Willoughby | DOORS --3PM-- | $15 | all ages
(moved indoors due to rain)

ADVANCE TIX AVAILABLE *ONLINE* FOR WOODSIST / CAPTURED TRACKS FEST:
go here to buy tickets for both days: http://is.gd/14Bll
go here to buy tickets for just July 3rd: http://is.gd/1dcIi
go here to buy tickets for only July 4th: http://is.gd/1dcAn

====| SATURDAY JULY 4TH @ 979 BROADWAY BACKYARD |===

:: WOODSIST / CAPTURED TRACKS FESTIVAL

9:45pm : THEE OH SEES
9:00pm :: VIVIAN GIRLS
8:15pm ::: Kurt Vile
7:30pm :::: Woods
6:45pm ::::: Tyvek
6:00pm :::::: Dum Dum Girls
5:15pm ::::::: the Fresh & Onlys
4:30pm :::::::: Brilliant Colors
3:45pm ::::::::: Ganglians
3:15pm :::::::::: the Great Excape ------ reunion, pre-Home Blitz
2:45pm ::::::::::: the Beets
2:15pm :::::::::::: Real Estate
1:45pm ::::::::::::: German Measles
1:15pm :::::::::::::: Beach Fossils

| 979 BROADWAY BACKYARD |
979 Broadway btwn Myrtle Ave & Ditmars St | Bushwick, Brooklyn
JMZ-Myrtle, L-Jefferson, G-Myrtle-Willoughby | DOORS --1PM-- | $15 | all ages
RAIN OR SHINE

ADVANCE TIX AVAILABLE *ONLINE* FOR WOODSIST / CAPTURED TRACKS FEST:
go here to buy tickets for both days: http://is.gd/14Bll
go here to buy tickets for just July 3rd: http://is.gd/1dcIi
go here to buy tickets for only July 4th: http://is.gd/1dcAn

====| SATURDAY JULY 4TH - late! MIDNIGHT @ MARKET HOTEL |====

:: Fresh & Onlys
:::: Brilliant Colors
:::::: Pink Reason
::::::::: Babies ----------- mems Woods, Vivian Girls, Bossy

| MARKET HOTEL |
1142 Myrtle Ave @ Bdwy | Bushwick, Bklyn
JMZ-Myrtle, L-Jefferson, G-Myrtle/Willoughby | -12AM- | all ages | $5 w/fest stamp, $8 w/out
| MYSPACE |-- http://myspace.com/markethotelnyc

Radio show

download first show here: summerbummerradio.blogspot.com